The Cat's Tale

The Student News Site of Canadian High School

The Cat's Tale

The Cat's Tale

Senior Jack Craft battled the massive Smokehouse Creek wildfire with the Locust Grove Volunteer Fire Department on Tuesday, Feb. 27. Photo provided by Jack Craft.
Battling the Blaze
March 8, 2024

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Mother Love

Every February, candles are lit, chocolates are exchanged, and ice cream pints are opened as people across the world wonder why their love life is in shambles. Luckily, Mother Love is here to answer all of your burning questions!

     Before your questions can be answered, here are a few interesting facts gathered from our Mother Love survey.

     Out of 53 CHS students, 36 were single and sad while 17 were taken and miserable. Speaking of sad and miserable, we also found that 50% of the CHS student body has been cheated on. Interestingly enough, only 10% of the students surveyed admitted to cheating on their partner at some point. Now, Mother Love is no statistician, but that means you only have a 10% chance of getting your trust broken. And remember, people do change, so expect that number to go up.

     Speaking of cheating, the survey says that 60% of the student body is willing to pursue a long-distance relationship. Surprisingly, the survey also says that 25% of the student body is yet to have their first kiss. We also asked students to describe their first kiss, with the majority saying it was “Meh,” followed by a close “good” and “absolutely awful” respectively.

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     Now, time to answer your burning questions! Mother Love is a Frank Phillips and Cat’s Tale certified love expert who is responsible for dozens of relationships!

Why do men in this school act like the world revolves around them?

      Because it does, but don’t worry! You’re a woman living in a man’s world and everyone loves an underdog story! Soon (10 years or more), the world will revolve around women and men will just be living in it. In the meantime, try graduating and finding men who respect and value you. No matter how much a man puts you down, never give in and never settle, you deserve better.

How do you know you’re in love?

      A lot of people may say that you’ll know it when it happens, but sometimes, it’s hard to know exactly when that is. Falling in love is like when you fall asleep, it starts off slow but then it happens all at once. You start thinking about them all the time, you think about their voice, their hair, their laugh, their smile. All you can think about is how you want to be with them and how you want to hold them and never let go. But sometimes, love isn’t true love. You fall in love with the idea of them, not the person, and you get hurt because you’re left confused, wondering where it all went wrong. Love is a universal language that can be spoken by everyone one way or another. Sometimes that language has confusing metaphors and long paragraphs that go on for too long, but sometimes, when it’s true, and you’re positive you’re not filling in the blanks with unrealistic expectations, you can be sure that you’ve found the one and that you really know what true love is.

What is love? Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more!

     Refer to the previous paragraph. Oddly enough, more than one person asked this question.

Why are women crazy? Just because I’m dating you doesn’t mean I’m exclusive to you, isn’t that how it should be?

     Honestly, I have no idea. Usually if you mansplain it to them, they understand. Women don’t realize that dating is a lot like football, it’s not just a one player sport. You need multiple players on your roster and sometimes you gotta put some players on the bench.

Why do people think dating is always some game? A lot of people act like they have to mentally quiz and manipulate their partners, it has never made sense to me.

     Trauma creates trauma. When someone gets hurt during their first relationship, they are left feeling used and confused. They wonder why their partner manipulated them and why they never trusted them. They wonder why they lied and cheated or why they always played with their emotions. This trauma creates a cycle. After their first toxic relationship, a lot of people hurt their second partners because that’s the type of love they are used to. It doesn’t excuse it, but that’s what creates it. People take out their trauma on people who don’t deserve it and then the cycle continues. Just because you’ve been hurt doesn’t mean you have to continue the cycle though, never let your trauma define you, use it to grow stronger, use it to help other people struggling with trauma.

Why am I still single even though I have an amazing mullet?

     Try getting a low taper fade or a buzzcut instead!

What do I do for Valentines Day if I’m Broke?

     If money is tight, you can break up with them and try again next year. If you’re dating someone rich, wait until after a holiday to break up with them. Why kill off your crops when they’re almost ready to harvest? If you don’t want to break up with them, you can get them cheap stuff at the dollar store, take them on a picnic, or, even better, you can compete on the SADD dating game show which will be happening eventually! Enter to be a contestant and you have a chance of winning a gift card to any establishment of your choice! Please contact Mrs. Haygood in the library.

Do guys tend to cheat more? How many chances do you give a guy after they cheat on you?

     Although it is hard to make hasty generalizations about both genders, Mother Love personally believes that when women cheat, they are more likely to only be cheating with one person. Meanwhile, men are a lot more likely to be cheating with a lot of women. Dating is like fishing, women who cheat at the fishing competition usually use a fishing rod, they’re only reeling one fish. Men, on the other hand, might use a fishing net to catch as many as possible. Women usually cheat for an emotional connection, men almost always only cheat for the physical aspect.

    And you give them zero chances, do not go back to someone if they cheat on you.

Why will guys call you beautiful but the minute you reject them, they call you ugly?

     Women do this too, but most of it is because rejection sucks and you want to reassure yourself that you can always do better and that you do deserve true love. It’s not a good thing to do and no one should be a sore loser, but that’s why most people do it.

Why is love so hard to find? Can I find mother love?


Do you think Romantic love is a social construct?

     Yes and no. Personally, Mother Love believes that a lot of modern romantic love stems from primal emotions that repeats itself in other cultures. The feeling of being in love is not a social construct, but the song and dance surrounding it is. Either way, most cultures have their own variation of their own song and dance, but the basic notes and moves remain the same.

What thoughts do guys have when a girl develops feelings for them?

    “No way she actually likes me, right?”

    “I wonder if she’d be down to play legos with me.”

    “Another player on my roster!”

    “I am so happy she feels the same way”

    Point is, context matters a lot. Every guy is different and every girl is different. I know it might seem like they’re all the same, but that might be because you have a type. Usually, most guys develop the same types of thoughts a girl does, they just have different ways of showing it.

How do I know if he likes me? Why are guys so confusing?

     Ask him or flirt with him. Guys are very blunt and very direct with their emotions for the most part. At this age, a lot of guys are afraid of rejection so they live their life never knowing if you would have said yes. Also, guys are as confusing as girls, just in their own way. A lot of questions discussing mixed signals and wondering if the feelings are mutual were asked. The two most important things you can do are to look at the context and to properly communicate with them. You can also always flirt with them.

How do I get someone to like me?

     Try genuinely listening to and communicating with them. Treat them how you’d want your partner to treat you (within reason). A lot of people love it when they are heard by someone. Show them compassion but don’t be too weird or clingy about it. Don’t send them Good morning texts if you’re not dating and don’t tell them how you can’t live without them, that will scare them. Also! Do not show them that you can’t live without them if you somehow get them to date you, that is very bad.

     On a side note, if someone ever does that to you, do not listen, they are manipulating you and they will not follow through. If you’re really scared, then tell their parents or call 911, either they get the help they really need or they get a reminder on why you shouldn’t manipulate people.

    Anyways, just listen and communicate with them and act confident in your own skin! Find out what interests you both have! Don’t doubt yourself, it’s not the end of the world if they don’t like you.

Are people who are in a relationship happier?

    Some couples are the happiest people on the planet! Others are miserable and want to break up but are scared. Remember, you really do not need to always be dating someone. Learn to love yourself. Once you can love yourself, then you should love someone else. Be the reason for your own happiness.

How many kisses are too many?

     When you make out in public and get an m&m thrown at you for it.

In this unexpected journey, I’ve found myself drawn to the depth of her spirit. The more I’m around her, the more I realize that my heart has found its home in her warmth. The only problem is she is 70…

     Never back down never give up! I know plenty of 70-year-olds who like younger men. Your biggest problem will be competing with her grandchildren who want in the will.

Is it wrong to break up with someone because they love you more than they love themselves?

     No, if you don’t love them, then you don’t love them and you don’t have to feel obligated to date them. Loving someone way too much and degrading yourself in the process will make your partner fall out of love. People want to date someone who are capable of self love.

How do you tell the difference between romantic and platonic?

      I don’t want to make out with my platonic friends.

Looks or personality?

     Neither, net worth.

How early is too early to move on?

     Less than a few months after you broke up with them, no one wants to rebound and no one wants to be a rebound. Especially don’t hope from partner to partner you will just hurt yourself and your partners even more.

If someone cheats on you, is it okay to cheat back?

     Yes and no. For most relationships, no. Don’t play into their game. Break up with them and then look for love. Now, if you’re in an abusive relationship that you physically can’t leave without getting threatened, then yes, you can cheat.

Should I stay with my boyfriend or go with my ex who keeps trying to get my attention? (my boyfriend and I have been together for a year)

     You should commit to one or the other without trying to play both sides. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. You need to either stay loyal or break up with him.

How do I get my ex to come back to me? (She’s been dating some other guy for a year).

     Gaslight and manipulate her. Make false promises too.

Why do girls like guys who cheat?

     This is a really good question actually. A lot of girls like bad boys because they want to experience the thrill of a short-term taboo relationship.

     There are two different ratings girls put guys under. One is the good guy scale, the other is the bad boy scale.

     Good guys are appealing because they will treat you like a princess, send you good morning texts, get you gifts, breakfast in bed, etc.

     Bad guys are appealing because they are physically appealing, super confident in themselves usually to the point of being a narcissist, and they have a lot of other girls that they hook up with. People want what they can’t get, which is why women go head over heels for a guy who is cheating on her and can’t commit. They want a guy who is able to pull so many women and they want to confidently say that they were the ones who could get him to settle down.

     It never works though, if you have the guy choose between you and the 5 other girls he’s seeing. He’s going to choose the 5 other girls. Also, people are just attracted to taboo things because of the adrenaline, this applies to dating people your parents would absolutely not approve of.

Why do people try to ruin good relationships?

     Because I’m jealous and bored.

I don’t have any questions!!!

     Thank you for reading these! You have been awesome, and I have been Mother Love. See you next year!

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Will Fry
Will Fry, Staff
I like writing and not lying.
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