The Cat's Tale

The Student News Site of Canadian High School

The Cat's Tale

The Cat's Tale

Senior Jack Craft battled the massive Smokehouse Creek wildfire with the Locust Grove Volunteer Fire Department on Tuesday, Feb. 27. Photo provided by Jack Craft.
Battling the Blaze
March 8, 2024

This poll has ended.

Are orientation rotations beneficial?


Sorry, there was an error loading this poll.

A Short and Simple Guide to Love



Love is a burning thing that everyone at some point in their lives will experience, with many of us ending our passionate journey with one or several rings on our fingers. For many, love is an exciting journey full of ups and downs that involves heartbreak, euphoria, laughs, tears, and confusion. Many find themselves overwhelmed at the thought of experiencing all these contrasting emotions all at once, but fear not, for this guide will show you where to meet the love of your life and how to steal their heart.

     For starters, everyone needs to find a suitable candidate worthy of the title “Love of my Life.” Suitable candidates can be found almost everywhere if you look hard enough. Some ideal locations for candidate selection of all ages include football games, pumpkin farms, churches, parties, and renaissance fairs. Ideal locations for anyone still in high school include lunch detention, band, journalism, overnight UIL trips, clubs, snapchat, and not theatre. Some unconventional digital options for love that work like a charm include Craigslist, The Canadian Rant & Rave Facebook group, Single Farmers Across America, and LinkedIn. A suitable candidate can be found almost everywhere you look but be wary when it comes to love-hunting at family gatherings, or else annual holidays will be more awkward than they already are.

Story continues below advertisement

     Once you have selected a suitable candidate, try and get to know them by asking a myriad of important questions that represent their core values. How would they describe themselves in one sentence or less? Do they prefer cats or dogs? Where do they lean politically? Do they like men or women? What kind of music do they listen to? Do they like both men and women? The possible questions are endless, but reader discretion is advised when determining which questions are needed to determine a suitable candidate.

     Now for the hard part–once you have picked out the perfect candidate to be your partner, you have to convince them that this arrangement is a good idea. 

     If you are a man, try buying her expensive gifts to flaunt your wealth. Show her how much of a man you really are by showing romantic interest in your other secondary candidate choices to make her jealous. Who knows, maybe all five of them can be the love of your life if you try hard enough!

     If you are a woman, try downplaying your past candidates and instead flaunt your newly found innocence. Not only should you create the illusion that men have all the power, but you should also exaggerate your physical appearance and constantly act helpless around men. Some men are actually helpless, so make sure to only act helpless in a situation your potential candidate has expertise in.

     If none of the strategies previously listed work, you can always try gaslighting and manipulation. Gaslighting is a term that has recently gained popularity over the years as people attempt to accuse their partner of intentionally lying to and manipulating them. Manipulation is commonly frowned upon by individuals who have been victims of its subterfuge, which includes almost everyone at some point.

Donate to The Cat's Tale

Your donation will support the student journalists of Canadian High School. Your contribution will allow us to purchase equipment and cover our annual website hosting costs.

More to Discover
About the Contributor
Will Fry
Will Fry, Staff
I like writing and not lying.
Donate to The Cat's Tale