As high schoolers catch exciting glimpses of what adulthood could be like, many students find themselves suddenly experiencing the flames of love. After having experienced love, many students ponder some of life’s greatest questions. “Would my boyfriend love me if I was a worm?” “Is that girl flirting with me or just being friendly?” “Should I stop getting obsessed over a new person every week?” One question that many students can’t agree on would be when to say “I love you,” but students agree that saying “I love you” too early is worse than too late.

Saying “I love you” too early could be a sign of someone trying to love bomb you. Love bombing is the act of overwhelming someone with affection or validation in hopes of manipulating or controlling someone. Examples of this would be your partner talking about marrying you or what your hypothetical kid’s names would be. This is not healthy and if someone is love bombing you then you need to think about cutting them loose.

Bombarding the other partner with these important words too quickly jeopardizes what would otherwise be a perfect relationship. Their partner might be scared that they are moving too quickly and it might make them uncomfortable. They might get second thoughts or think that their partner is trying to manipulate them. A relationship needs time to develop and shouldn’t be rushed into, you can’t cook an omelette without letting the eggs cook properly.

Rushing into things too quickly could also lead to massive insecurity developing throughout the relationship. If someone is being love bombed, they might not think they are good enough for their partner which causes them to enter into overdrive. This creates a snowball effect that makes the relationship spiral out of control and could lead to situations that no one should have to experience. The victim in the relationship could be manipulated into a mindless puppet who feels more like a parent than a lover because of the need to constantly provide.

People who think that saying “I love you” too late is a much bigger deal than too early might think that no love is worse than blissful love, but the consequences are much worse. If someone says “I love you” too late, they might have trouble expressing their true feelings out of fear of losing the one they love. If they’re really isn’t any love in the relationship, then that is a much better alternative than having to deal with the lies and deceit of a manipulative partner.

Before moving up the ladder of love, each partner should stop and ask themselves if they are realistically at that level to say “I love you” or move even further. Would the feeling be mutual? Would their partner be comfortable with this sudden expression of love? When the question of moving forward arises, students should be better safe than sorry and let their relationship bake in the oven a little bit longer.